New Neighbours
by PanoramicPisces
Summary: Lust and Greed are married, Edward is mortified, everyone else is fine with it. And Lust and Greed find the word-Human.


Edward Elric's life was almost perfect.

That was the word wasn't it? _Almost_.

He had a beautiful wife, of whom he adored very much. A brother, still_ very_ much alive despite all they've been through. A house, a brand new, tool covered (Thanks to Winry) house that Ed really loved coming home to everyday.

The problem was the house beside it. No. Not the house, the _two married homuculus couple that lived in it._

"I fucking hate you," Edward said, boiling over his top. "I..Just hate you."

"Oh, lighten up, Ed!" Greed said with a wide grin. "So what I've come back to life, and married Lust, who's also still alive, and we're living right next to you! It'll be fun."

There were some things Edward thought were _fun_; riding a bike, playing some soccor, helping Alphonse regain his strength after having his body back.

Having two homuculous enemies be his neighbours was _not_ on the happy list!

"This is insane," Edward said, pacing up and down Roy Mustang's office. "I can't have Lust and Greed as my neighbours..No. Al! Back me up!"

Alphonse was speaking to Lust.

"So if I can just plant my roses around the front of our house..I can get them to grow more efficiently?" He asked her.

"I believe so, but don't get cocky, Elric. Or-"

"AL, ENOUGH WITH THE FUCKING FLOWERS!" Edward yelled.

For acouple of months, Alphonse had grown a little _too_ attached to growing plants, so much so he had named acouple of them. His favorite daisy he had recently named Rodrigo, and his rose? May Chang.

"Oh, what?" Al said, looking around. "Oh, that..Well, what's wrong with them being our neighbours?"

"They're supposed to be DEAD, Al."

"Well, so am I, you keep _me_, don't you?"

Edward was taken aback by this, so much so he looked down with some guilt.

"Hahaha.." Roy laughed, settling back in his chair. Riza gave him a sharp look from behind.

"Don't start, sir.." She said.

"Haha.." Roy continued laughing.

"I'm sorry, Al. It's just..Isn't this a _little_ weird?" Edward said, looking hopeful.

"A little, but we'll get used to it!" Alphonse replied.

"Hahaha..." Roy laughed.

"How the hell did you guys marry?" Havoc asked, looking from Greed to Lust.

Greed's grin got bigger, he held up his left hand, a silver ring was on his finger. "We got hitched in Xing."

"YOU GOT HITCHED IN XING?" Everyone exlcuding Roy repeated in unision.

"Ling let you?" Winry asked.

"Of course he did," Greed said. "I am the one that took care of his body, he owed me."

"Hahahahaha!" Roy laughed.

"WHAT THE HELL IS SO FUCKING FUNNY, MUSTANG!" Edward finally yelled.

"This whole thing!" Roy answered. "I mean, what are the odds? Two homuculous (One wildly attractive, might I add-"

"Watch it, Roy." Greed growled, pulling Lust closer to him.

"-Come back to life and Edward's bloode pressure shoots up the rocks, and nobody but him has a problem with it. I love it, I absolutely love it."

Edward picked up a lone chair and threw it at the Colonel, he ducked, and the chair broke against the hard wall.

"You bastard! You would be delighted with all my misery, wouldn't you!" Edward said through gritted teeth.

"Just figuring that out?" Roy said, between chuckles. "And Riza, why didn't you block that chair?"

"Well, I thought you would've deserved it, sir."

Roy scowled. "You would..."

**X.X.X**

Greed smirked. "Well, looks like our little plan to annoy Elric worked, eh?"

Lust turned to her husband with a light smile, her identically purple eyes looking into his. "And now we're alive again, is this what we want, though?"

"'Course we do!" Greed replied enthusiastically. "Father isn't on our asses anymore! That old fart's gone for good, and we have the rest of forever to ourselves. What more could we want?"

Lust was not someone to do anything without thinking through it first, but when Greed approached with the idea to live just to piss Edward Elric off, she didn't have it in her to refuse; thank God she and Greed had the same sense of humor.

And he was right on some accounts; Father was gone forever. And they _did_ have the rest of forever to do whatever they wanted. No one was holding them back from anything.

"Do you still wanna be human?"

Lust turned to Greed in surprise, he looked solemn, like he understood how she felt about that subject. "You know," He said. "It's not easy just wanting everything all the time."

He took three steps closer to her, pulling Lust by the waist; something he rather liked doing. "Especially when 'ya want something 'ya can't have, makes you more pissy than usual. "If I wasn't going to have you, I would have been really pissy.."

"How charming are you?" Lust replied drly, but at the same time pulling him closer to her, desiring his none-existing warmth.

"Very." Greed said, grinning. However, he looked down at Lust, his smile faded into a look of seriousness. "I love 'ya, you know that?"

"My, my, how mushy are _you_ today." Lust said with a soft chuckle. "I love you too."

They were homuculi, they were barley human.

That was the word though, wasn't it? _Human._


End file.
